Some years ago, I was discussing child raising with Doreen Jensen an Elder of the Gitxsan people of British Columbia. She was an artist of some renown, a  community organizer, Grandmother and a Global cultural ambassador for Aboriginal Canadians. She was a lot of fun to hang out with, beautiful to look at, soft voiced and liberal with smiles. She knew what she knew and was always a good person to ask a question of.

My children were teenagers at the time and I was fully perplexed as to how to proceed with this part of the parenting journey. I had done a lot of reading and study about child-raising before they were ever conceived and my ideas had worked out pretty well. I was certainly proud of both my son and daughter and impressed with who they were. We were a single parent family with no adult male input at all which was certainly not ideal but was the card life had dealt us; we had figured out a one-for-all and all-for-one family foundation that worked for us.  But adolescence was untried territory; testosterone had introduced a new element that I was finding difficult to cope with.

Part of the challenge was that my children are North American. I am Irish. Respect for parents was embedded (sometimes violently) in Irish children of my generation.  You could hate them but you had to respect them. Now I had two smart and articulate young people whom I had raised to be utterly independent and confident enough to express opinions on any and all subjects. It was fairly constant argument and I was being worn out and stripped of authority.  I loved my children passionately and knew it was essential that I have the power to see them safely through this passage that was full of conviction with no experience to back it up. In my usual fashion I read and consulted, tried family therapy and even a child psychologist. The latter suggested it was a testament to my good mothering that the kids felt confident enough to do battle with me, knowing I would  love and be there for them always. It seemed cold comfort at the time.

Doreen told me that the First Nations people in Canada took their guidance from the eagle when it came to teenage children. When the eagle babies are first born, the parents make them a nest of luxurious comfort with layer after layer of soft down. When they arrive at a certain stage, the layers are removed one by one so that the nest becomes less  and less comfortable over time. Finally the day comes when the babies are boosted up to the edge of the nest and tipped out. The mother then flies beneath to catch them if they are not quite able to fly alone. This rescue is repeated until finally, the birds get their wings and move on to the next part of their own lives according to Natures plan.

I am thinking of this  lot lately since I discovered the  Black Eagle Project Roodekrans‘s website. This South African site publishes photographs of the life of a young Black Eagle called Jono. First, it was thrilling to know there are black eagles – and why not, in Africa? Watching the young eagle grow, his feathers evermore dazzling as he matures, is a wonderful experience. This is him on the left solo and in the next two photographs with his mother.

Today, a new posting suggests  it is the beginning of the leaving home process. Their method is a little different than Canadian or American eagles but with the same end result. It is time for the chick to leave home, to soar independently.  These parent eagles are aggressive in their instruction, this particular kind are by nature aggressive and territorial. To quote from Ernest Porter on the website “It is considered normal behavior for them to chase their offspring out of their territory about 9/10 weeks after the juvenile has fledged from the nest.

The aggression is not swift and continues for 3-4 weeks before the juvenile is actually chased out of the natal home range. The adults don’t harm their offspring in these aggressive attacks, but they certainly give them a good scare, especially in the beginning of the aggression. Later on the juveniles participate and even return the aggression towards the parents.

Interestingly the adults still bring prey for their offspring while the aggression period is in motion. You can imagine the confusion a juvenile must experience when being chased and attacked in the morning and then later seeing his parent bring a nice, juicy snack for him to feast on.

In my opinion it is life lessons for juvenile verreaux’s eagles, which they will need in order to survive as they live lives filled with aggression. One day these juveniles will have to be able to defend their own territories and be aggressive hunters in order to survive, they also have to be aggressive towards their offspring.

The juveniles only start hunting for themselves after the parents chased them out of the natal home range.

Jono will probably be chased off by approximately mid-December according to normal aggression behavior. But we are dealing with wild eagles which have a mind of their own.”

This is how they sort it out. Mother and Son.

I do understand how easy it is to cling to one’s children and for children not to want to leave comfortable nests that they will not be able to reproduce for themselves without years of struggle  and hard work. The child-raising years are profound and deeply satisfying and the energy and cultural vitality of the young is a delight to be around. But we must raise them, prepare them for the struggle  and let them go, that is our duty to them and to Nature. I look to Nature, this time human nature, for the role model of becoming the Elder, the Grandmother.

Unlike the eagles, we can expect to see our children return eventually, hopefully, with fledgelings of their own so the process starts over. In this mad mad mad mad world, this gives me great comfort. Nature Knows!